Friday workout was a success! What a great start to the weekend. What are your plans?
Guys, we did it! We made it to Friday.
I know this week was a rough one. Maybe you were totally stressed out. Or you were sick. Or you were on your period. Or you had a panic attack. Maybe you are struggling with depression and it was just hard to keep going. But you did it! Every day, you got up and you kept going, which is what counts. And I’m so proud of you!
I don’t know what your fight was. I don’t know what each of you specifically face every day. But I want you to know that you are strong and you have everything it takes to be secure, optimistic, confident, successful men and women. It doesn’t matter what your parents taught you, or what your nightmare ex did to you, or what hurtful lies you’ve been told, or what you think you see when you look in the mirror. You are complete and whole and special and capable and worthy.
If there’s something you need to change, you can do it. It’s hard, but with practice and intention anything is possible. If you need to accept and love yourself as you are, please do it. Don’t waste another moment hating yourself. Be your own best friend, not your own worst enemy.
Take care of yourself. Exercise because it makes you feel good, not because you think you’re fat. Eat well because you want to love your body, not because you want to count calories. Speak lovingly to yourself and about yourself, because your perception of yourself affects everything you do.
Don’t let your past determine your future. Your future isn’t written yet, and you have more power than you think to make it a remarkable story.
This quote says it all.
Last night was really hard. Tons of people were there, ultrasound pictures were passed around, and everyone clapped when my sister in law and her husband found out they were having a girl. But you know, once I spent some time locked in their bathroom crying and composed myself, it wasn’t so bad. I was glad they were happy. We didn’t stay very long. And Matthew said he was proud of me.
It’s funny how we just can’t control things, but we sure do like to worry about them. I was stressed about all the tasks I had to complete after work today, but then I got a migraine and couldn’t do any of them. And now I’m sitting on a comfy chair with my snoozing kitty next to me. It’s not so bad.
I managed to make dinner for us and when we dug in Matthew discovered that I had undercooked the chicken so we had to put it back in the oven for a few more minutes. I was embarrassed and kept apologizing but he didn’t care. When it finally was done he devoured every bite. So that wasn’t so bad either.
Dishwasher is going, Lily is outside barking as Matthew chats with our neighbor, and the setting sun is shining through the window. It’s all pretty good, actually.
I haven’t written in a while.
I haven’t had much to say.
I feel totally and completely at peace and I’m just trying to savor it. Peace doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. Peace doesn’t mean that life isn’t stressful. Peace doesn’t mean that I don’t have issues.
This is the kind of peace only God can give.
And He gives it purely out of His grace. I certainly haven’t done anything to deserve it. And I spend a lot of the time feeling distant from Him. But distance doesn’t change the fact that I’m held.
I finally feel like I’m on the right medication after so many months of suffering. I was scared to make a change, but once I did I was so glad. My mind and body feel like they’re finally getting a break from the anxiety and depression that have taken over for the past few months and I’m so relieved that something is finally working.
I’ve hit my stride with working out and lifting weights on a regular basis. You can never go wrong with endorphins. Losing weight is one thing, but working out to FEEL good is absolutely essential.
And tonight I’m going to a gender reveal party for my sister in law, who is pregnant with her second child. Do I hurt? Yes. Am I angry? Yes. Am I dreading it? Absolutely. But I’m going anyway.
This is what progress looks like.
I cannot adequately express how much I love Fridays. This week has been long and tedious and today couldn’t come fast enough. Here are my five things, in no particular order:
- Matthew and I got a smart TV last weekend and last night he helped me figure out how to pull up YouTube on it so I could watch yoga videos. This was such an awesome discovery because I’ve been dying to find a yoga class and YouTube has awesome FREE videos that are just as great as paying for classes! My favorite so far is “Yoga with Adriene.”
- My sweet mom texted my sister and me last night and said “Attention! Mark your calendars on April 17 for shopping with mom! It’s Dad-approved!” It was adorable and I nearly cried.
- My doctor changed one of my medications to better combat my anxiety and Seasonal Affective Disorder and I’m pretty certain it’s WORKING! :) I already feel a million times better and it’s such a relief.
- My sweet nephew can officially say my name (“Shae”) and “I love you.” And I get to babysit him tomorrow!
- I’ve worked out 4 times this week! I am actually starting to see my muscles again! Just gotta keep it up.
Happy Friday everyone! I love you and hope you feel like a room without a roof!
I’m really interested in freelancing or writing for an online magazine. The problem is that I don’t know ANYTHING about getting started doing either one of those things. I’ve been visiting freelance sites and online mags, but I don’t know which ones are for real and which ones are more of a scam. I would love to someday run my own blog that actually generates an income. I’m so jealous of people who are full time bloggers! How does one become a full time blogger? And why aren’t there advisors for people once you’re out of college? I would love an advisor who specializes in “real life” so I could go sit in his or her office and map out the next 5 years. I find myself itching for what’s next. Matthew says I need to learn to be content.
I also daydream about being a yoga or spin instructor or a personal trainer. Again, how do you go from daydream to reality? I need to apply the same drive I did to becoming a marine biologist, something I daydreamed about for years. The scary thing is that making it in that profession was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’m exhausted just thinking about doing something like that again!
Other dreams in my head: world traveler, stay at home mom, stay at home wife who makes crafty things on the side for extra cash, editor for a newspaper, author, professional lady of leisure.
At 26, can I still think about what I want to be when I grow up?
I think I need to start a separate blog for the food items I find in between my boobs.
Today’s find: a blue corn chip shard which wasn’t very comfortable. I even have a scarf on which you would think would act as a bib but nope. My cleavage is a magnet.
This woman is my hero.
I don’t really know anything about her, other than the fact that I admire her for being a normal, beautiful, curvy, healthy-looking woman in an industry that seems to only value the thigh gap. She makes me feel good about myself. I hope she knows how much her “real-ness” means to people like me.
It’s Monday again! What on earth?
I’m nice and sore from working legs at the gym yesterday. It feels GOOD. Awesome, even. I love the soreness because it lets me know I’m growing.
I wore my hair up this morning and everyone’s been complimenting me for looking so “put together.” What does this imply about every other day? This is where I need to just learn to take a compliment.
Time for coffee.